Day 82 of Year 16:  I am always thinking of what I can do to make my students see the world a bit differently - even in the simplest of ways.  The jar image below is breathtakingly simple in a complicated world of what to paint, draw, decide to work on.

Jar of Coins, 2012, oil on canvas, 30 x 30" by Elizabeth Mayville

Day 80 of Year 16:

I feel like a rookie.  I was about to write that I actually have survived three days of teaching - after 16 years, and THAT's my comment?  Seriously?  So, I guess I actually DID write that I felt like a rookie.

But after three days of talking about the syllabi (multiple times as I have 6.5 preps), I am getting a nandle on the classes, the class sizes, and trying to get the right kids to stay and the right kids to choose another class (you know who I mean - don't deny you have them as well...).

I still love looking at art and I still have that ful size self-portrait in mind...one day soon.

I mean, after all.  we have to watch out for our kids, right?

Day 77 of Year 16:  Actually the beginning of the REAL teaching year.  I have 205 students at this point (I think).  After all these years of teaching you'd think I would feel like I know what I'm doing but I don't seem to be feeling that way.  At all.  I woke up still wondering where I'm going to put everyone - and their work (paper supply shelves will have to be sacrificed...), what I want to do on the first day (as my husband said to me last night, "You had all summer to do this and you're doing it NOW?!"  So I 'm sitting at 6:00 a.m. thinking of my agenda and the most effective beginning I can imagine.

Oh, and one of my AP Studio kids contacted me last night to say he wasn't prepared and he was already disappointed in himself.

Oh, and a parent of another students sent an email to say her son is desperate to get out of school all together - transfer - because I'm sure he isn't prepared either.

What happened to kids being excited to start a new year?  New clothes and new materials?  New, exciting possibilities?

School (the concept and intent) needs to be reconsidered in a new format.  We are losing too many kids - and teachers - and no one seems to be able to stop this speeding train.

I think art and creativity is the solution - but then, that's just me and my one voice.

Day 72 of Year 16:

I just realized this is also the 16th year of my marriage.  Ironic.  What made me think of the correlation (other than the obvious number 16...) is that I just came back from a great anniversary trip to Port Aransas, Texas and was dumped directly into the in-service at school.  Rude, I think.

So this is the beginning of Day 3 of the Important In-Service That Will Make Us All Better Teachers.  'Nuf said.  Yesterday was the "art" in-service.  Generally painful in that most of the things we do simply do not relate to anything I would teach during the year to high school kids.  Ever.  Yesterday was an exception.  A fun, entertaining woman, Cheryl Evans, had us doing self portraits (ahh, you might be thinking...Martha Anne has BEEN doing self portraits so this is right up her alley...and you would be correct...).  Interesting project that has possibilities although is a bit of a "flash" project...some deconstruct to make it enticing but not a lot of meat as to why it should be done.  No matter.  I cut and collaged away.  Here is the result after about 2 hours.

On another note, I talked to several teachers about those of us who still teach AP Studio and getting together to see and compare what we all do.  I tried this several years ago and the coordinator said there was no money.  Typical.

Oh, and there was a fair amount of whispering during the lunch break - I stayed in the art room with my sack lunch and the whispering was annoying.  Or am I paranoid?

Oh, and teachers are the worst when it comes to "turning off their electronic devices" during - well, ever.  Why do we expect the kids to do it and ignore it ourselves?  I am proud to say I kept mine off.  Although at times it was tempting...and understandable - more interesting than the presentations...

On to Day 72...

Day 70 of Year 16:
The "first" day of school.  Officially.  Teacher inservice all day.  That and finding out I have 193 students this year.  And no beginning of the day or end of the day preps - just the nice one attached to lunch where NOTHING seems to work.  Oh, and the classroom the new teacher next to me was only supposed to be in for two periods so our kids wouldn't have to compete with noise - well, now it's all 6 periods.  And the art budget that we now all have to share instead of having our own account.  And the new teacher who was hired because he COACHES.  Did I mention that?  And I woke up at 12:45 a.m. and started to cry.

So this is the REAL beginning of Year 16, is it?

...but I still have hope and love art.

Day 64 of Year 16:  I have been to San Francisco and back, and still think longingly of art every day.  I will admit that Pinterest is my porn, though, and even though the studio alludes me for the moment (like Insanity - sorry Shaun T. - the tee shirt you offer after 60 days is still not in my possession!) I look at art every day and think about it even more.  I have not felt this way in years.  The weight of NOT seeing was on my shoulders and now I feel a freedom to create - even if it's just in my mind - every moment.  There is a connection I'm experiencing to the people who post images they like and I'm finding a kind of weird family of other art "lookers".  I have so many ideas and feel such positive direction.  School starts in a few weeks and I know I won't be able to get all my new ideas introduced but they are living within me.  Such as this one.  Beautiful in it's emotional nakedness.  These make me feel like this is what happens when you die.  Nothing dark and scary, just white and gently floating like a plastic bag in the wind.  Amazing work.

mues

Paper, glue, 40 x 27 in., Matthieu Raffard

Salon de Montrouge 2011, France

We imperceptibly change everyday as if we were changing skin. The Mues sculptures make visible this metamorphosis through imprints of a body at the specific time. They are clothing of empty skin that we fold and keep to put on a new one. This skin becomes the trace of the time passing and the memory of an anterior life.

Day 53 of Year 16:  I received an email from a student who will be taking AP Studio next year.  He was responding to suggestions I had made on ideas he had for the concentration section of the studio portfolio.  I was blown away by his response and level of thinking on how he took my thoughts and digested them, then took off in a new, exciting direction.   He wrote that he'd seen an old, abandoned  bed post and was thinking of salvaging it and "just maybe based on the idea if modern society through the lens of the whole altarpiece type feel" he could use that idea and his love of art history (proudly, another class I taught that he was in and received a 4...) My response back was long-winded and I realized I was revealing more of myself to him (and to myself) than I had planned - but I kept going anyway.  He was also concerned about being excited with the concepts but afraid he didn't know enough technique to pull off the finished work.  My response:  I hear what you're saying as far as technique.  That will always be a fear (and should be to challenge you).  You can do this - just keep looking at art.  I have become completely addicted to looking.  While I want to do everything I see and wish I could have the time, I learned something when I was in advertising many years ago - I can't be the best at everything.  I realized I would never be the best painter, drafts person, whatever - but I knew I was really, really good at how I approached a concept and could follow it through.  That's my talent.  One of the reasons I have had such a difficult time going back to the studio is that I was trying to do what I have always done - created the still life images I have sold for years.  My fear:  am I still good enough?  Will these still sell?  My reality:  I am a different person and I don't want to do the same things I did 10 years ago.  My love of sketchbook and deconstruct has led me to experience and experiment with  materials and a "quickness" I never thought I could do.  I don't approach every piece as if it has to be in a gallery (and I can tell you many would never make it...) but what I've discovered is what YOU are suppose to discover in doing a concentration.  What you are capable of - what you truly love and are interested in.  The rest will follow.  Technique is about practice...again and again and again.  Concentration is about concept and how you THINK over and over again.

So I'm starting a full length self portrait based on a piece I saw present day but reminds me of John Singer Sargent (I always loved Madame X, I will admit...the attitude and, at the time, secretive nature of the painting and her pose).  This is WAY out of my comfort zone but I actually don't care.  My mother posed an interesting question the other day when i showed her all the self portraits I was doing (I'm working on three...).  she asked me what I was going to do with them - was I going to hang them?  Art has a purpose other than placement on a wall behind that chair...it allows you to see inside who you are and how you perceive the world.  Even if you never show the work to anyone else.  When my mom asked that question I was, at first, annoyed and then I realized she just doesn't understand.  It's the journey that is the adventure.  Not the destination.

Day 51 of Year 16:  I have been working in the studio, working on the house and as a surprise for my birthday, my daughter flew in at midnight and stayed for the weekend.  It was fabulous and she joined us at my "painting" birthday party.  If you haven't tried this, it will definitely re-energize you and it made me think about my own teatching styke for my beginner classes.  Painting with a Twist is a franchise (wish I'd thought of it!) and you go with or without friends, bring wine or food or both and just relax and paint a painting "taught" by the teatcher.  It is NOT an actual class but a way to play and have fun painting (so relaxing!).  Here is the culmination of the 2 hours...and you can't even guess which one is mine!  I can't wiat to go again!

Next time a Van Gogh!

Day 41 of Year 16:  Working in the studio almost every day and I have so many ideas of what I want to work on.  It feels so open and free - I did another sketchbook portrait using ink and fingerprints and just went with the direction.  I am finding myself realizing I will have so many things to show students when the year begins.  I also found an old AP sketchbook with so many ideas I had - I think it was from an AP seminar many years ago.  Rereading the notes I found a renewed enthusiasm and remembered many of the ideas.  I also remember being so overwhelmed with wanting to do everything and exhausted when I couldn't.  Now that I've been teaching AP Studio for 11 years I have many things in motion and am ready to start new ideas I had put on the back burner.  I'm ready!

I saw this graffiti spray painted on a bridge in Italy and it became a part of me.

Day 37 of Year 16:    What a great day!  I got another email form one of my Junior Art Historians and she wrote to say she received a score of 5 on her AP Art History exam - one of the hardest tests there is to take!  I had actually forgotten I could look up the scores myself so after sending her a congratulatory responce (in between dancing around the room myself) I wne to the College Board website and saw that of the 22 students who took the exam, 19 passed!  And of the 19 who passed, 4 received a 5, 8 received a 4, and 7 received a 3.

I have an exceptional class of great minds.

Day 35 of Year 16:  A week of not posting and I couldn't be happier.  I have found myself yearning to get to the studio and keep workin on painting - I haven't felt this in years.  I am, for the moment, free from feeling like everything I do art-wise has to be a finished piece of art.  I am working on several self portraits at once and continue prepping paper for the next one.  The portrait below wasn't right so I kept painting - even painting over areas that were "acceptable" but not correct - I used to hold on to the areas that were good - afraid I wouldn't be able to recreate them if I made a mistake.  Today I just kept painting.  I'm thinking of all the artists who were searching for seomthing when they painted.  I don't know what I'm searching for.  Maybe nothing other than the joy of painting.

Self portrait #2

Day 29 of year 16:

I'm actually longing to get back in the studio.  I haven't felt this way in years.  I do something called "nesting" when I think I need to be in the studio I spend time arranging, cleaning, thinking.  I know it's all part of the process I go through but it is also this thing called "procrastination".  I have fear.  Fear tht what I used to be able to do I no longer can - or will be good at.  I sold in galleries and had shows.  Now I have trouble attempting to create what used to be seamless for me.

I was trying to recreate.  That's impossible.  Why recreate what has been created once, and quite well (if I do say so myself).  Time to strike off in another direction - ans that's the fearful part... Which way do I go without getting lost?  Maybe I need to embrace the getting lost part and just go for it.  Isn't this what I tell my students every single day.  Now here I am at a crossroad myself.

The old me...

Continuation of day 26, year 16:
Beautiful, simply beautiful...

Day 26 of year 16:  
Things to be happy and thankful for:

1.  I got an air conditioning unit for the studio (it was 106 yesterday...) and installed it myself!
2.  I worked in the studio all morning and actually produced - sketches and painted and was in touch.
3.  There is an actual new teacher - he said yes and so did the district...
4.  Sempre e per sempre e per sempre - esperanza.

Day 23 of Year 16:  I received an email from my department chair saying the art teacher we interviewed last Thursday was offered the position as Art 1 and Sculpture teacher.  I will admit, when I interviewed him I was not feeling very positive - especially because I thought we had already found "the one" a weeek earlier.  Having been left by ALL the other teachers I think I had begun to feel like the program was all mine - that sharing was not even going to be an option any longer.  I had just finished substitute teaching biology (!) for three days with a student teacher at the helm and the thought of interviewing someone who had an extensive coaching background was not on my list of things to look forward to.

I was mistaken.  He is going to be a great addition and I spent almost two hours talking with him and sharing different philosophies we each held.  Today I went to school rather than the studio and started organizing - the first time I've actually done the process this early.  A good omen, I think.

And another view of the studio chair...

Day 18 of year 16:  Worked summer school - substitute for a biology teacher who had an intern actually teaching.  There's a mouthful...

Longing to be in the studio (that's a good thing) and thinking about the materials I want to use on the piece I actually did start (another good thing).

There's just something about an Adirondack chair and dusk.  This is what I see at my studio every night.  Nice...

Day 17 of Year 16:  I just heard on the news that teachers across the board will be getting a 3% raise this coming year.  After finding out a few months back that our district was 49th in the state of Texas in education (and pay, I believe), this is news comes with mixed feelings.  I should be happy - overjoyed, in fact - but the comments I heard pertaining to the raise made me more sad than ever.  The public seems to not understand that educators are not only leaving the district due to a lot of negative issues, mandated testing, over capacity in the classroom and more administrative tasks then ever, but we are leaving the field of education all together.  Education has come to a point where everyone is losing.  The students hate school once they get past the 2nd or 3rd grade, parents expect more than seems humanly possible to give sometimes, and the system is broken.  School is essential but not all students can handle the structure, the pace - either trying to catch up or trying to keep ahead - and there seems to be no end in sight for teaching to the test.  New test, old rules still apply.  I am going to the studio to paint.  To find peace.  To wish the public understood that 3% fixes nothing.  I would gladly forfeit the 3% if change in the system would really happen.

Off to paint.

And life is grand out here...

Day 15 0f Year 16: Two days past when I meant to post but thinking all the time. It's true - a teacher never rests...even on weekends in the summertime. Started a new blog - www.kuntzapstudioart.blogspot.com - because I am completely inspired to have my next group of AP students be as successful as I hope THEY want to be...and obviously me.

Scholastic in New York happened this month. Kids walking across the stage at Carnegie Hall. I was there not too long ago. I want to be there again.

Selfish? Maybe. I want it anyway.

I've been thinking of starting another side business of creating children's portraits. Hmmm. Can she do it?

My daughter at 16.

Day 14 of year 16:  Quote of the day.  Procrastination never ends well.  On another note, I received a call from the summer school people while strolling around Costco looking at things I couldn't afford and wanting them anyway, and at first I thought it was just a phone solicitation.  The secretary of summer school was asking if I was interested in subbing three days next week for IPC (?).  Hard to believe that I would even hesitate and have to think about this new found freedom I was enjoying (doubly as I was still looking at the cute outdoor LED lights that I think will look good in my yard for 0nly 39.99).  I did ask if I was the best choice for IPC.  They said yes.

Either they're desperate or I am.  I said yes.

I did get a school calendar for next year and have put in all the important days.  You know, staff development, TAKS testing...theings that really matter...

No caption necessary.

Day 13 of Year 16:

Day 12-1/2 (still cheating although this really IS day 12...) of Year 16:  Summer school is no longer.  With one student in the class the powers that be decided the class should be cancelled.  Now, not only do I feel dejected that I have no class and am in the "substitute pool" but I feel twice the dejection that art is so far down the ladder as to be a class that students don't consider taking even if offered in summer school.

I am passionate about what I do.  I am passionate about what I teach.  Art is important.

Just sayin'

Art is as important as core subjects.

There.  I said it.

Art teaches creativity, free thinking, individuality.  Art is more of what the future needs; what kids should be learning.

Day 12 (almost - I'm cheating because it's still day 11 but I'm about to go to bed...) Year 16:  One student?  I have one student enrolled for summer school?  Seriously?  And to make things worse I asked about turning in my schedule and approval for working on art curriculum - I was originally told I could work up to 20 hours and get paid - and was told that only the "core" classes (translate to "important" classes) were being authorized.

Creativity.  Art.  Visual stimulation.  Learning how to see, not just look.

Except when I think about pie.

I feel sad today.

Day 11 of Year 16:  Started summer school yesterday.  Well, started the first day of what may be the last day of summer school.  I believe I only have two students enrolled as of the last count and the district is capping the class at 20.  Hmmm.  I don't believe the kids who failed Art 1 and now realize they need it to graduate suddenly woke up this morning and are preparing to rush to school and register.  I may have more time on my hands to actually do art - a threat I've been using for a while now...that portrait I could be finishing, Insanity I could be doing (I really am completely out of shape), dogs I could be walking, horses I could be riding.  I do have to say, being in the classroom again, especially without anyone around, still gives me a thrill.

...that and my students.

That, indeed, is what keeps me going.

DAY 9, YEAR 16

Day 8 of year 16:  Looking longingly at my studio and the portrait I began a while ago.  To teach art or to do art...not much of a question but I always seem to ask it.

So THIS is what I'm supposed to
look like after 60 days...

Day 7 of year 16 :  My big plans to post every day have already gone astray...I have so many ideas in my head and then my mom's phone stopped functioning - that was a three hour fix across town that I had not anticipated.  I am not an organizer.  I, after all these years of making lists and posting calendars, printing cool looking projects and bookmarking sites I will "definitely" use, am back to being surrounded by all those things I want to do and then deciding it's time to start "Insanity" again.  (I know, I know, you don't know what that is and always ask, "Oh, that's like P90,  right?" - yes, it is.).  I think I was crying during the middle of it, by the way...

I did accomplish one thing, though.  I have the torturous deadline schedule for my AP Studio kids for next year.  I have set exact dates for EACH of their pieces - NO EXCEPTIONS.  Ha.  The best intentions.

I'm hoping by blogging long enough I can avoid Insanity...good teacher or great-looking teacher...that is the question.

Just look at thst face...

Day 5 of Year 16:  Getting ready for summer school...trying to compact a semester's worth of learning and projects into 14 days - seriously?!  14 days, 4 hours a day making art.  This should be interesting.  I think I need to make examples ahead of time in anticipation of all the questions ("What did you say to do next, Mrs. Kuntz?"  "How much paint do we need?"  "Oh, I thought you said TO cut it there...oops...").  All of this going through my brain that really wishes I would have decided to have the summer off and play with the horses and dogs instead.

Day 4 of the 16th year:  I spend more time on creating PowerPoints than ever.  I am addicted...actually called the PowerPoint Queen because I create so many of them.  I feel centered when I'm focused on a direction and can simply research and get the "essence" out of an idea or subject and then translate to students.  So this is how I spend my summers - fitting in the PowerPoint around everything else.  Interesting.  Who says teachers get summers off?

I love art history.  Me and my friend the Seated Scribe in Paris 2011.

 I still get excited looking for those projects and ideas that will make a student turn her head...like a cute boy walking by...

Day 3 of 16:  Appropriation on top of appropriation.  Seems fitting.

Day two of year 16.  Interviewing for the positions that have been vacated by EVERYONE in the art department.  I did this five years ago and remember the spark I saw in the person I KNEW I wanted to hire - I went into the AP's office after spending 45 minutes talking to Amber and literally threw myself across his desk and told him to hire her before someone else did.

The second person I saw today made me feel a bit like that so perhaps there really is someone out there who will make the program grow the way I want it to.

Interviewing is like trying to find a husband in 45 minutes.

I spent the rest of the day cleaning the studio and finally, finally threw out a lot of old student work...like watching your children go off to school...

Art 1 student "Masterpiece" painting.  Pretty impressive...

Summer school is starting next week.  I've heard my supplies are in and they consist of index cards and masking tape.  Hmmm...




                                                                                       
                                                                     

Today is the last day of my 15th year teaching.  I was walking to the barn to feed the horses and reflecting on how it's really the first day of teaching of year 16.

I wasn't going to attend the "end-of-the-year" breakfast.  My fellow art teacher for the past 5 years, Amber, left to teach in Korea, my art room is in a state of chaos with left-behind projects and piles of old clay waiting to be thrown out (too heavy for the trash cans).  Amber's room is oddly quiet and I am alone again.

How do you explain to someone how lonely this profession can be?  The jokes at the breakfast were truly funny - none involved the art department...art is one of those "other" subjects that everyone loves (because we all have great handwriting and cool supplies) but no one seems to understand where we fit.  I'm not even sure where we fit.  But here is yet another new beginning.

Student-created clay cake - appropriate!

So day one of year 16.  Happy sweet 16.